Lost and Found

It's been a while since I've posted. I've been somewhat on a self imposed sabbatical but today something came to the forefront that I decided it was time to write about. Well, a couple of things triggered it but I'm not sure if we'll cover it all in one day.

Back in high school I had 3 best friends. Josh, Tiffany, and Erica. I'm going to talk about Josh today because you see....Josh and I didn't meet on the best of terms. I'm not sure how we became friends, really. We didn't run in the same crowds. We didn't have the same likes. We didn't see eye to eye on many issues. But we did click.

One day, I believe I was a Junior.....this punk Sophomore walked into the classroom. He informed me that I was in his seat. I remember just looking at him and smirking. I may have made some witty comment but I don't remember. What I do remember was him mumbling under his breath as he walked away "bitch". I found that to be hilarious. I was not the mean type, and I did not pick on him. We went on about our daily lives.

Fast forward a few weeks (maybe months):
I had signed up for drama and was in the play The Outsiders. We had cast just about everyone, but our drama teacher was having a hard time coming up with a lead that could play the character of a "square" and pull it off. Just about that time, I glanced into the hallway and saw Josh walk by. My eyes lit up and I thought (out loud) "oh he's the perfect asshole!!!!!" I'm ashamed to say today that I did go out into the hallway and drag Josh into the classroom (in front of everyone), by his ear....and exclaim to the teacher, "See, doesn't he just look like an asshole?" I do think I remember him calling me a bitch that day too.

And that my friends was the beginning of a long friendship.



Josh was not like my other friends. He didn't like the parties that we went to. He didn't like most of my friends period. He was in the band. He liked video games. He was a self proclaimed computer nerd. We never did figure out why we were such good friends. We just were. We were inseparable. My friends Erica and Tiffany accepted him and they became friends with him too. I would drag him to all of our parties and try and make him like my friends, thinking that maybe he would enjoy high school a little more if he just went to more parties.

Josh hated Hitchcock. He hated most of my guy friends because they tormented him growing up. But he went to the parties because I wanted him to go. I found out years later that he only went for me. People used to whisper about Josh and me. They would pull me aside and ask me what was really going on between us. I would just smile and say nothing. Because that was the truth. I loved Josh like a brother. I saw something in Josh and I think I wanted to fix it.

I saw how unhappy he was and I wanted to make it better. I saw what a good person he was and I wanted everyone else to see it. I saw the good in everyone else, and and I wanted HIM to see the good in everyone else. I just wanted to fix what was wrong between him and Hitchcock.

Yeah, that didn't happen. But, we had fun!

Our senior year was the best. He was drum major and I was in cheer leading.



Then my high school boyfriend happened. He hated Josh. Then Josh's High School girlfriend happened and she hated me. And then he moved away to Austin to go to College.

We lost touch for a while and I felt like a piece of me was missing.

But when we finally did re-connect, we met up at the beach one day and stayed up all night out on the jetty's talking. We managed to get a couple of years squeezed into one full night of just sitting there listening to the waves hit the water and catching up.

We did manage to keep in touch from time to time and every time we spoke it was like we never lost touch. Josh toasted at my first wedding. Of course, who else would do it?

Tiffany and I made a weekend trip up there to see him before I moved away to NC and had the most fun weekend. Thanks Josh.

Josh then met the love of his life and got married. Her name was Amy. We mostly lost touch after that and I didn't make it to the wedding. We talked two or three times after he got married but then I heard through the grape vine that his wife passed away. And I felt like the most horrible friend that ever walked this Earth. I never met her. I wasn't there for him through the sickness. I wasn't there to talk him through it (if he needed it).

I made brief contact with him after wards to tell him how sorry I was but really what could I say? Well we spoke via email today and got more in depth. I can only offer to be there for him now if he will let me in whatever capacity he needs me....an ear....an email....a phone call.....he's traveling the US trying to find peace, and right now, I pray to God that he finds it.

My heart aches for my childhood friend. I pray that he can begin to heal.

How I Got into Photography

When Ethan was about 4 months old, I started talking to a friend of mine that was telling me her love for photography (black and white film to be exact). She used to have a business in NY and missed it.

Well, being a new mom, I was in love with the idea of offering my child up for practice. I agreed to buy all of the film and she'd show up and shoot. (Pardon my head on the below pic, when I was transferring it over, it made it look weird....).

She shot tons and tons of rolls and I fell in love with every one of them.

It was amazing to me how she could capture his eyes in a black and white photo!

This is one of my all time favorites that she took. It won a photo contest too. I had a series of 3 similar ones matted and framed.


As soon as I saw them, I was hooked. Jerry got me my first Minolta Maxxum SLR camera and I've been at it ever since. These were my first attempt at black and white film photography.

Personally, I don't think I did a bad job. Actually, looking at them makes me want to shoot more film.

There is something timeless and elegant about a black and white photo.

Note to self: Self, you need to get back into black and white film photography.

A Dedication Post

Dear Ethan,

It seems like just yesterday that we brought you home from the hospital. You were so tiny but you filled up such a large spot in our hearts.

You were such a good baby and I loved your squeezable cheeks.

You were the reason that I got into photography. I just didn't want to miss a single moment of your life.

You were baptized in Gram's church, and while the church is no longer there, it will be forever in our hearts.

You and your cousin Chas were just like brothers from the very beginning. You loved each other one moment, and the next...you were stealing his binky.

We lived each day thankful that we were blessed with you.

And when you turned one, we couldn't believe how fast the time went.

Our little boy was already discovering that he loved balloons.


You spent a lot of time going to your brother's baseball games.


And you were thrilled with the very first swing that you got.

Your brothers were your hero's, and while you loved to annoy them, they took it with grace...because they love you.

You certainly loved your babies and didn't spend any time without them.

And as you got older, your personality blossomed into one that made us smile every day.

I can't believe you are now five and will be starting school in a couple of months. I hope that one day when you read this....

you will know just how much we love you. I hope that you will never doubt how much we adore you. You are going to go on to do great things and it makes my heart swell just thinking about the wonderful little boy that you have become.

I love you.

Happy Birthday, EE.

Here is one of the video's that I made a few years ago.

Please Forgive Me for Being Absent.

Errr...yeah...I realize these are weeks late but I figure you'll forgive me. Things have been a bit hectic around here. So most of you know that I'm now done with school for a while. I finished my Bachelor of Business Administration and since then I've just taken a break from everything but books. I've been catching up on lots and lots of books that I've put off reading for pleasure.

These pictures are horrible and I almost didn't post them but then I decided that I'd post them anyway. We started Ethan's birthday by taking cupcakes to his school and had a great surprise! Mr. Matt, one of Ethan's all time favorite teachers was there! We snapped a picture of the two of them.

That weekend, we had his real birthday party at Bounce City, an inside inflatable jump place. We had his birthday there last year too. I love his face in this picture.

This is probably my favorite picture of the day. Even though it's blurry, it cracks me up. Do you see how they are holding hands?

These are two of Ethan's team mates and lemme tell ya, he was so happy to see them. They are brothers. Aren't they cute?

They ran around non-stop. Last year, we made the horrible mistake of not bringing drinks. They didn't have drinks for while they were playing and boy did we regret that. This year, we we brought a whole cooler of water and juice.

Since I couldn't give him his cake and take pictures at the same time, my friend Robin took him the cake. We forgot his candle but I don't think he even noticed. As soon as he saw it was a Spider Man cake, he was thrilled.


He had a great birthday. Great friends + fun presents + yummy cake = one happy five year old. I'm still planning on doing a dedication post for his birthday. That's coming up soon.

And since you've been so patient with me, I thought I'd throw in a few of my favorite recent pictures of Butterball. Butterball got neutered several weeks ago and we had to put one of those RCA dog collars on him. Remember the RCA cartoon dog? That's all I can think of when I see this.

Of course, Butterball was not as amused as I was. Actually, he down right hated it.....but how can you resist a face like this?

Celebration Times

Disclaimer: I'm going to apologize in advance for these pictures. Frankly, they suck. It was pretty dark in the room....and this lady was sitting in front of me with a water bottle. Half of time the camera focused on her melon head or the bottle. Good times.

Last week was Ethan's pre-school graduation. It was at Kingwood Community College of all places. The boys wore blue and the girls wore red. It was all very....emotional. I mean, it's not every day that your kid graduates from pre-k.

He was gracious enough to allow me this picture of him. Although there were about 6 thousand other parents bumping into me and running me over to get pictures of their kids.

I admit that I got a little teary eyed when they started playing Pomp and Circumstance. I have a very bad picture of him coming down the isle. I say bad because well....I only got one window of opportunity to get a snap shot before he walked by. He chose that exact time to turn around to see what his friends behind him were doing. Gee...thanks Ethan. That's a great Kodak moment that you left me with.

When he got his diploma, he was so proud. While they were introducing each child, the speaker read what they want to be when they grow up and what makes them a super star. Ethan is a super star because he's the biggest helper in the school. When he grows up, he wants to be.....wait for it.......a grown up.

Did you know that a diploma also acts as binoculars. Or rather...monoculars? Is that even a word? Get it!? Bi (2)- mono (1)...er....never mind.

Oh and he did this. I'm not sure why he was aggravating the boy next to him...but the boy wasn't thrilled to be seeing Ethan's tongue. See that guy to the left? That's Mr. Matt. Ethan's all time favorite teacher. Mr. Matt's last day at the school was this past Friday and Ethan has been having a tough time with it. I will say that Ethan was able to charm Mr. Matt though....it was sometimes funny to watch Mr. Matt glaze over Ethan's bad behavior so he wouldn't get in trouble. Sweet.

See that lady in the middle? That's Ms. Sheila. His lead teacher. She has been such a large influence in his life. This lady has a rare talent and I don't think she knows the half of it. These kids love her and well....I'm going to miss her. Ethan moves up to the last classroom in a few weeks.

So after the ceremony (which was a little long...the kids did great by the way) Ethan and Mr. Matt posed for this picture. This was right after Ethan dropped his first piece of cake on the floor. About 5 minutes later....he dropped his second piece of cake on the floor.

I call this pose "The Dreamer". Actually, I have no idea what he was doing. Well, yes I do....he was wanting me to hurry up so that he could finally eat his piece of cake (we were on the third piece by then).


Doesn't this have a dreamy look about it? And doesn't he look so satisfied after his cake?

Happy Graduation Ethan.....We are so proud of you. You're going to go on to do great things.

Soccer....The End (For Now)...

Last Saturday was the last game of the season. We arrived early and I took individual pictures of each child as well as a few groups. Amazingly, most of the kiddos were pretty reasonable. They smiled when I asked them to, they looked at me when I called their name...and they stood still! Ethan decided to go with the flow and posed for me.

One thing that I am hesitant to do is post pictures of children that do not belong to me. That being said, it makes it incredibly difficult to tell a story of the game... So, many pictures that I do have will not be shown on this website. Sorry, my five readers....if you are my Facebook friend, you can catch them there....my Facebook page is private, so I can control who sees what there.

They started the morning after my pictures with a fun game of duck-duck- goose. Ethan was smart...he'd get a running start before he tagged his person so that he was way ahead of them. I am raising a genius. My child is a critical thinker....err...well it could also be said that getting a head start is cheating.

One thing that I did notice was that his tongue was chronically hanging out each time he kicked the ball or ran. He scored 3 goals this game (well one was for the other team but he celebrated it none the less).

Interestingly enough, he was the only kid that got this excited when he scored a goal. He would actually celebrate his score. A lot. Just call him his own cheering squad. This particular shot was right after he scored a goal from the line.


This one was after he scored for the other team. See? He celebrated right along with the other team. Hey Ethan? Please don't score for the other team please, OK? Thank you.

Are you seeing a trend here? Leg extended= tongue hanging out. I love this kid.

Quick Photo Update

If you have been reading this blog for a while now, you will notice that this background with the Easter Bunny looks familiar. And while we are on the subject of the Easter Bunny, yes I know I'm a little late posting this picture.

Ethan loooooves the Easter Bunny. We patiently waited with a slew of other people waiting for their chance to take a picture with EB too. Ethan then walked up to EB, gave him a huge hug, and hopped (pardon the pun) on his lap. I'm hoping to get at least one more year next year with a picture of him and the EB, but we'll see.


But now to more important matters. My baby is graduating from Pre-K in about 10 days. I seriously can't believe how fast time is flying. One minute we were in the hospital looking at him in awe and the next minute, he's telling us "kindergarten better watch out, cause here I come".


As much as I want him to grow up, I want him to slow down too. It's a bitter pill to swallow! He's questioning things now and holding long conversations with us. It amazes me every day that he is getting so mature.

I'm not going to get all emotional today....no....I'll get all emotional on May 28th, when my "baby" boy turns 5.



You can click on the pictures to enlarge.